It has been so long since I have written on my blog. Usually all of things that you write about are happening during the quiet time. There have been so many things that have changed. But as we all know the one constant in life is change!
I have still been running my refinishing business and it that has been great and busy. Courtney hasn't been doing very well still. She has an appointment coming up next week to try to figure out what type of plan we are going to come up with to help her not be in so much constant pain.
Courtney had always been such a smiley and happy little girl, until the Selective Dorsal Rhizotomy (SDR). Now if you barely graze her feet she cries and it is rare that she isn't screaming and crying for hours at a time. At the beginning of her changes I was very positive and always trying to have faith that things would get better. But lately I am having more and more of those breakdown moments.. you mom's know what moments I'm talking about. They are the ones where you run upstairs into your bathroom, lock the door and just cry.. and cry... and cry.
I want so badly for her to not be in pain and have a great quality of life. And when you are a parent and can't do anything to help your child.. well that is the worst feeling in the world.
I haven't been active in church for a few months and I can always see a direct relation between my faith and my strength. When I know that Heavenly Father is in my life and I am actually inviting him in, I feel as though there is nothing that I can't overcome. Without Heavenly Father things feel so overwhelming and I start to feel helpless. Having him by my side is just..... better. That is the only way that I can explain it. I am still trying to find the balance which is not always easy.
Jordan is doing good but is in that pre-teen "you don't understand me" phase. The one where no matter what you do to build solid rules and values you are only doing it to ruin their lives kind of phase. I'm sure some of you can relate. You try to make sure you are not the overbearing, stern enemy but some days you are defeated. As history proves time and time again, one day she will understand. It may not be until she has kids of her own but she will understand. In the meantime I will be grinning and bearing it through each eye roll.
I will make sure to keep up on my posts. And as always, thank you for reading!
