Trip to D.C.

I had to put everything happening at home on pause for a few days. I was assigned to travel to DC for a work conference. At first I was upset that I had to leave when there is so much going on with Courtney recovering and starting a few projects buuuut I absolutely love DC.

We do not have to go to the meeting hall until 6 pm tonight so my boss and I went to a nice little deli and then walked to the Waterfront and the weather has been beautiful. I absolutely love this place. If I could I think I would move here. The building architecture and culture is great. You hardly run into smokers walking the streets in DC which is nice to not be breathing that in. It seems like when you walk the streets back home you run into smoker after smoker.

Here are a couple pictures from my beautiful surroundings :)

A Project Is Among Us!!

As many of you know I love to craft and learn new skill. I have seen a lot of "reclaiming" of furniture lately and it seems pretty popular so I thought I might give it a shot!
As you can imagine the hospital bills for Courtney are enormous so I am thinking of extra ways to bring in the cash flow. I figured we would start with a simple project first and see how it turns out. Jordan decided that she wanted to give it a shot too! I don't think she realized how powerful a sander is. Stay tuned for the finished product!

Oh and while me and Courtney were waiting for the primer to dry we decided to be total goofballs...

Table For One

I have to tell ya, with all of this going on I feel like I haven't had a social life for so long. I find the time here and there to go on a date but I'm not sure if my mentality is wrong but I am definitely feeling somewhat burnt out. It may be that I just haven't found "The One" yet but it seems as though the characteristics of each man blends in with the next. I think that may sound awful to say but then again this is a blog about real life and real experiences. I mean all I am asking for is a tall, smart, funny, sweet and romantic man who is looking for a relationship who somewhat resembles Channing Tatum.... that isn't too much to ask for is it?

The conversations are almost identical when getting to know someone too.... what do you like to do for fun.. how long have you been divorced... what are you looking for in a guy... do you want to get married again...
All of it I have memorized. Dating at this age is very tricky. I have been married and want to be married again so I am looking for a committed relationship. I do not want to move too fast which I will admit has been one thing I have always struggled with in my relationships. I would rush rush rush and then wonder why the relationship ended as fast as it started. I talk to my friends about this all the time.... that I remember a day when if you liked someone then you liked them, that's it just that one person. You would get to know just that person and spend time with that person. Now we are in this world filled with options. You are no longer the only woman standing in line for the interview to be this mans girlfriend. It seems the moment something arises that someone doesn't like.. poof it's over and he or she is on to the next one. And people actually use that term when breaking up with people.. On to the next one? What are we? Have we all become disposable when it comes to this dating game?

As a woman of faith I try to stay optimistic.And I try to remember that what is meant to be will be and my soul mate is out there. But with each date that doesn't call back or every guy who clings on and then scares himself out of it.. I become more and more of a pessimist. I have seen it all.. I have had men take me out on dates that are not really single and then the girlfriend has shown up, I have dated men who say that they are ready for a relationship and want to spend every day with me and then after 2 months say they are not ready for a relationship... I have fallen victim to almost every emotionally unstable dating scenario there is. I do not want it all to taint me to the point where when a good guy does come along I don't see it because I am waiting for his issues to pop out at me. I would just appreciate honesty and sincerity. Why can't people just say "I'm not looking for a committed relationship" then I would get to chose whether or not I continued seeing them. Dishonest intentions lead to so much drama and heartache.

I am not sure what it is but I think these days, society is a proponent of single. It is no longer the norm to grow up, get married and have kids. At least for many that I meet. Maybe I am old fashioned when it comes to this subject but isn't life better spent with that counterpart? Isn't life better when you can share moments and emotions with someone who loves and cares for you? Or will we eventually get to the point where we are all just sitting at a table for one?....

This is a topic that I am very interested in and appreciate any and all comments.

Almost Back To New

I am happy to say that Courtney is almost back to mint condition! She stayed a couple days with her dad and I picked her up on Sunday. When I got her home I soaked her in a nice warm sponge bath, fed her and gave her some medicine and she was feeling pretty good. She is still moody and sometimes when she is uncomfortable she will cry out for a few minutes. I think that she is sick of sitting around. I am trying to involve her and re-position her as much as possible.

I am working on a sewing project that I am close to finishing. One of my best friends sisters is having a baby and she asked me to make the crib bedding. I finally finished up the diaper holder and the quilt (which is the most time consuming piece). Today I'll be starting on the Bumper Pads and the accent pillow. Courtney loves sitting with me watching me do all of that. Sometimes I'll hand her a piece of fabric and tell her she can help and she loves that!

Jordan had a sleep over with her best friend Elijah on Sunday. They went to a Bee's game and they both are completely addicted to baseball now! Yesterday we watched The Sandlot and once I let them know that movie was filmed in Utah and that the field was not too far from us they begged and begged to go. Elijah's mom Lori took them to see it and they played ball for a little while at the ball field.

Speedy Recovery

Well things are almost back to normal in our household! Courtney is doing great and sleeping through the night with little to no pain medication. Jordan is happy to have her home and their sister dynamic is in full effect. Courtney got upset with her yesterday for coming close to us while Courtney and I were having some cuddle time. Even though I have 2 arms to hold them both, Courtney does not like sharing her mama!

My dad has been watching Courtney since she is out of school from her surgery. Since school is out in 2 weeks she will not be going back until next year.
Jordan is doing great in school and according to her she has a boyfriend...... I keep telling her that she is too young and boys should be the last thought in her mind. It is so scary to see how young these kids are starting to think about the whether boys like them or not.
I think back to when I was their age and to be honest if Jordan or Courtney ever did any of the things that I did at that age my heart would break. I did not have church in my life growing up and looking back I am not so sure that it would have made too much of a difference. I was set in rebelling and no matter how many people said "Don't touch that big Red button" I was set in my mind that I needed to touch that button.
A big reason I made the decision for the girls and I to join the LDS church was so that they had that foundation and solid ground. And when they were mad at me for preventing them from certain things that they could turn to Heavenly Father in prayer and seek the good.
I think that I am lucky that my conversion happened down the road because I am not sure I would have appreciated the Gospel had I not seen the other side. I do realize that Jordan will make her own choices and kids will be kids to an extent. All I can do is hope that I raised her well enough to know the difference between right and wrong and hope that when the wrong is done that she will feel the need to repent and ask for forgiveness. Other than that.... wish me luck as my pre-teen enters this new territory of confusion.

I am picking up a new hobby. Reclaiming furniture!! I am still focusing on the quilt business but I have a new found addiction to cheap furniture, yard sales and paint. Put all three of those together and we might just have ourselves something to do during the summer.
I picked up a new piece off of a Facebook Yard Sale Group that I just love! I am thinking about doing an off-white or ivory paint with some light distressing. Stay tuned for a before and after picture.

I am not sure if anyone ever wonders about my dating life while in the middle of juggling Courtney's needs, a 10 year old trapped in a 25 year old's body, a full time job and church. The answer is... I do my best.
I have yet to find that one who adds something to my life. I believe that if the person you are with does not bring something to your life whether it be joy, laughter, companionship or romance then you are wasting your time. Not to mention finding someone who has the same beliefs that I have is difficult as well. People often say "well it shouldn't be that hard, you are in Utah". You would be surprised at how many eligible bachelors there are not!I do go on dates here and there but then after the first one I find reasons to not pursue another. I have not figured out yet if I am scared because I don't want to get hurt again or I am not ready. I have a big fear of finding someone, getting my kids used to them, having it go well and then have them leave. I did date someone last summer for a couple of months that was amazing. We were a great fit and my girls really liked him a lot. We were together all the time and were moving in a great direction at a slow and steady pace. Then one day I was hit with "I don't know that I can give you what you would want as far as a next step". Clearly he meant marriage. Talk about a gut check. He and I are friends now and I have accepted that he will never be able to give me what I need so if I catch myself wondering I quickly turn my thoughts to reality. All I know is that everything does and does not happen for a reason. God answers all prayers in his own time. And sometimes the answer is not what you had wanted or expected but he knows what he is doing. So let those who want to walk away go and those who want to stay.. stay.

All Packed Up & Ready To Party

Courtney is coming home today!
She was supposed to come home on Saturday but she kept getting fevers off and on. The physicians did labs and a chest x-ray to see what was going on. Her labs came back normal and her x-ray showed nothing as far as pneumonia or obstruction. They were unsure as to whether or not it was withdrawals from her medication still or maybe a visitor had given her a bug that they didn't know they had. The docs wanted her to go 24 hours without a fever before sending her home and at 4 am today it was 24 hours.
I am beyond happy that she is coming home.
Now as far as hospitals our visits will be few and far between (knock on wood). I know that with how hard it was to have her away from home that prayer helped. If I hadn't turned to God in this time of need I am sure I would have fell into a desperate state and not been so optimistic.
Now my baby girl can move her legs without being in pain and I will be able to get her dressed in the morning without it being a 30 minute task which would end in her crying and me being somewhat frustrated.

I have to be careful with how her back is positioned just because of the stitches but other than that she is not under any other restrictions. She will have a follow up visit in 4 weeks and then the only time we will have to go to Primary's is if she gets sick or to manage the spasticity in her arms. That usually consists of Botox injections every 6 months. Every 6 months is something I can definitely handle.

I appreciate everyone reading our Blog and praying for our family. Xoxoxo

Not So Happy Update

Well we were excited about Courtney coming home and this morning she spiked a fever of 101. Now she can't come home today. They want her there for another night to make sure the fever isn't related to infection or pneumonia.

I had the LDS Church service come in and give her a blessing. It is always good to invite the spirit in during these times. Courtney looked at them and smiled the whole time she was being blessed.

We were excited about her coming home! All of her things have been moved back from the care center so her closet is full. Hopefully tomorrow she can come home.

We want to get our summer started already and try to go on our first road trip sometime next month.
Courtney loves being out and about with us so getting her out of that damn hospital room is our first priority!!

Sick of Hospitals

We are almost to the end. It seemed like it was going to be forever until we got here but we are getting closer.
Courtney had a good night and her pain was managed very well. 

The doctors are taking Courtney off of her epidural and starting to ease up on the pain meds. Hopefully she does ok and we won't have to turn the epidural back on.
If everything goes as planned she will get to come home tomorrow.

The Day After

Well we are on day 2 of recovery from the surgery. Courtney had a rough time getting her pain under control. We had to switch out some of her medication because the epidural wasn't working like it should have been. She is not on a medication that is similar to Morphine and it is helping a lot.
She was able to see her dad and his family, her sister, my family and a couple of my friends yesterday. I am sure she would have liked the company more if she had been more comfortable.

By the time I got back to the hospital around 10 pm she was finally sleeping and stable. I stayed with her last night and she had slept through the entire night. This morning when I left she was a little fussy so the nurse re-positioned her and gave her some Valium to help with the spasms in her back from the healing process.

I feel so blessed that she was able to get through the surgery and is doing well.
She is supposed to come home Saturday so I have been trying to get everything ready for her there while moving her out of the care center that she was in. We are excited to get back to life!

Surgery Day!!

The day has arrived!! Courtney was taken back to surgery at 7:30 this morning. The surgeon said that she will be in the operating room for about 3 to 3 1/2 hours. The nurse from the operating room called me to let me know that everything was going well and just as planned.
They anticipate she will be in there for another 2 hours. She was in a great mood today but I am thinking that was because I picked her up from the care center and took her for a ride.
The doctors say that if she has no restrictions when she is released then SHE CAN COME HOME!!!!
That means that within the next few days my little angel will be back where she belongs. With her momma!

The surgeon that is performing the surgery is the same physician who put in the baclofen pump. His name is Dr. Walker and he is awesome.

Courtney's dad Charlie was with us this morning while she went back so that she had her mom and her dad with her. His family will be coming up soon to see her while she is in recovery.

I will update the blog after the surgery to let you all know how she is doing.

Tomorrow is the big day!

Good morning everyone! So tomorrow is the big day. Courtney will be going in for her SDR. I am very optimistic of the outcome and I am sure she will do amazing. The doctors let me know that she should be in the operating room for about 2 hours. Maybe less. As of tonight she will be NPO just like any other surgery and will be on clear liquids until midnight. I will not know what time the surgery will be until today between  2-5. She will be having the procedure done at Primary Children's Hospital. Everyone's prayers are appreciated during this time for our family.
After surgery she will be transported back to the Community Hospital for a short stay during her recovery and then she will be coming home!!

I cannot express enough how happy I am that the end is near. Sometimes I think about it and the last month has kind of flown by.

We are excited to get back to our routine as a family. We have work, school (which is almost out for summer), chickens in the house (that are driving us crazy), and I have decided to open up my business again and give me dream another shot. Yes that's right Southern Cotton Quilt Company is up and ready to start taking orders! Anyone reading our family blog can also go read the business blog and like our Facebook page!!

The girls and I are going to be getting family photos done here in a couple of weeks as well so stay tuned to see those! We do not have any family pics since the divorce and thought it would be good to get some pics up in our house of our new "Girl's Club".
I am so thankful for the support from all of you. Whether it is just reading the blog, prayers or visiting when you can we appreciate it so much!

The Details Behind A Selective Dorsal Rhizotomy (SDR)

I know many of you have asked me what the surgery is called that Courtney is having as well as the details.
It is kind of hard to explain. To learn more about her procedure Click Here .

Oklahoma In The House

Yesterday Courtney had some surprise visitors!!! Our aunt Tammy and uncle Gary from Oklahoma. Courtney was so excited to see them. They made their way here to go to a wedding in Salt Lake. They are going to be here until Tuesday. We also get to go to a big Mothers Day breakfast with them for Mothers Day. 

It is exactly what we all need since my mom left... 

Courtney is starting to have such bad muscle spasms that she can't eat by mouth anymore because it's too dangerous. So now she is restricted to her formula feeds. 

Surgery is Wednesday so we are getting closer. We appreciate all of your support and prayers as we prepare. 

I'll make sure to update on surgery day to let everyone know how the procedure went. 

Getting Closer

Well, we are finally to the point where the doctors have taken all of the medication out of Courtney's pump.
Last night while we were there she was very grumpy and super tight! They have had to increase her oral medication to help the withdraw symptoms. Today they say she is doing better and happy but she will be up and down until the surgery.

The 14th is next Thursday and I am growing more and more anxious as it gets closer. I hope that the surgery goes well and that she has a speedy recovery. But most of all I just can't wait for her to come home. It is so hard to not take her out with us. She loves running errands and shopping so not having her with us during that is difficult.

It will be nice to be able to take follow up visits and hospital stays out of the equation!! And I am looking forward to a happier and healthier Courtney.

On a happy note.... Jordan and I went shooting this weekend up in the mountains by Utah Lake. We had a blast!! Jordan hadn't ever shot before and she did really well. By the time we left she could load, unload and aim pretty well. She was able to hit her targets which were cans of spray paint and when you hit them they explode with color. It was awesome. Now she is a little addicted and asks for a gun everyday. 

Stay tuned to see what other adventures are on our trail! 

Balloon Bonanza!!

We were able to fit in time for Jordan to do an amazing science fair project. She did "The Self Inflating Balloon" We had a lot of fun doing it and she got a GREAT score as well. Jordan has really been handling all of these changes very well and maintaining good grades the whole way through. I am so lucky to have these 2 daughters that are so loving and precious.