Well things are almost back to normal in our household! Courtney is doing great and sleeping through the night with little to no pain medication. Jordan is happy to have her home and their sister dynamic is in full effect. Courtney got upset with her yesterday for coming close to us while Courtney and I were having some cuddle time. Even though I have 2 arms to hold them both, Courtney does not like sharing her mama!
My dad has been watching Courtney since she is out of school from her surgery. Since school is out in 2 weeks she will not be going back until next year.
Jordan is doing great in school and according to her she has a boyfriend...... I keep telling her that she is too young and boys should be the last thought in her mind. It is so scary to see how young these kids are starting to think about the whether boys like them or not.
I think back to when I was their age and to be honest if Jordan or Courtney ever did any of the things that I did at that age my heart would break. I did not have church in my life growing up and looking back I am not so sure that it would have made too much of a difference. I was set in rebelling and no matter how many people said "Don't touch that big Red button" I was set in my mind that I needed to touch that button.
A big reason I made the decision for the girls and I to join the LDS church was so that they had that foundation and solid ground. And when they were mad at me for preventing them from certain things that they could turn to Heavenly Father in prayer and seek the good.
I think that I am lucky that my conversion happened down the road because I am not sure I would have appreciated the Gospel had I not seen the other side. I do realize that Jordan will make her own choices and kids will be kids to an extent. All I can do is hope that I raised her well enough to know the difference between right and wrong and hope that when the wrong is done that she will feel the need to repent and ask for forgiveness. Other than that.... wish me luck as my pre-teen enters this new territory of confusion.
I am picking up a new hobby. Reclaiming furniture!! I am still focusing on the quilt business but I have a new found addiction to cheap furniture, yard sales and paint. Put all three of those together and we might just have ourselves something to do during the summer.
I picked up a new piece off of a Facebook Yard Sale Group that I just love! I am thinking about doing an off-white or ivory paint with some light distressing. Stay tuned for a before and after picture.
I am not sure if anyone ever wonders about my dating life while in the middle of juggling Courtney's needs, a 10 year old trapped in a 25 year old's body, a full time job and church. The answer is... I do my best.
I have yet to find that one who adds something to my life. I believe that if the person you are with does not bring something to your life whether it be joy, laughter, companionship or romance then you are wasting your time. Not to mention finding someone who has the same beliefs that I have is difficult as well. People often say "well it shouldn't be that hard, you are in Utah". You would be surprised at how many eligible bachelors there are not!I do go on dates here and there but then after the first one I find reasons to not pursue another. I have not figured out yet if I am scared because I don't want to get hurt again or I am not ready. I have a big fear of finding someone, getting my kids used to them, having it go well and then have them leave. I did date someone last summer for a couple of months that was amazing. We were a great fit and my girls really liked him a lot. We were together all the time and were moving in a great direction at a slow and steady pace. Then one day I was hit with "I don't know that I can give you what you would want as far as a next step". Clearly he meant marriage. Talk about a gut check. He and I are friends now and I have accepted that he will never be able to give me what I need so if I catch myself wondering I quickly turn my thoughts to reality. All I know is that everything does and does not happen for a reason. God answers all prayers in his own time. And sometimes the answer is not what you had wanted or expected but he knows what he is doing. So let those who want to walk away go and those who want to stay.. stay.
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